


What Is Dead May Never Die

by My_Marvel_Musings



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Marvel_Musings/pseuds/My_Marvel_Musings
Summary: Reader is mutant with the ability to heal herself, use telekinesis, and create shields. She's also 150 years old, a former lover of Loki, and former best friend of Phil Coulson. Her life goes side ways when Loki breaks up with her, then Phil dies, followed by Loki. She does her best to move on until she finds out that just because someone dies, doesn't mean they're gone for good.This was requested by one of my readers. I'm excited to try my hand at a Coulson/Reader story! Originally, the plot was going to be two separate stories, but I feel a proper love story needs angst.





	1. A Brother In Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is working as a teacher at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters when she's visited by her old friend, Thor.

"Charles, what in the world is so important it can't wait until my class was done?" You had literally been in the middle of a sentence when Professor Xavier and Dr Hank McCoy came walking into your classroom without even knocking. Every students' head snapped up to look at the headmaster as he rolled farther into the room.

"_____, we need to have an important conversation, and I'm afraid it just won't wait." His normally kind eyes were filled with worry and you knew something big was about to be dumped out.

You nod your head and dismiss the students for the remainder of the hour. Pulling up the chair at your desk, you watch as Hank closed and then locked the door. "I have a strange feeling you're not about to grant me a pay raise."

"_____, what do you know about Asgardians?" Charles rolled up and parked in front of your desk.

"More than I wish I did. And a bit about Jötunheim and its people as well. Why?" Already you were on edge. You knew two people from those areas and one of them specifically was not someone you tried to think of at all when possible.

Hank pulled up a chair next to Charles. "We received a message from Thor Odinson asking if you were at the school. When we confirmed who he was and told him that you were indeed here, he said he needed to speak with you at once. He sounded both excited and worried at the same time."

"Thor. Thor is coming here. When?" You were blindsided by the fact that not only was Thor in town, but he wanted to speak to you. The last time you saw each other, you were barely hanging on as an Avenger. His news caused you to quit all together, much to Fury's anger.

"Within a few days. Thor said he's bringing a war criminal to the Avengers' Compound who needs to prove they have turned over a new leaf and are willing to help mankind. He said you would be one of the best people to help handle this situation." Charles looked deep into your eyes and you knew he was trying to gather information about what you knew about Asgard and its people.

You shake your head at the idea. "No, he knows that's not true. I may be able to make things move and create shields, but I don't have Asgardian level powers. Hell, I don't even have omega mutant level powers. If he needs a guard, best to ask Jean or Colossus to help. There was only one...."

Charles watched as you trailed off, painful memories flooding your mind and then his. There was only one Asgardian you could watch as you knew he would never harm you. Well, physically, that is. But not only was he not Asgardian, he was now dead at the hands of Thanos.

“_____, I know it may be painful to see Thor given your past, but just because you’ve left the Avengers does not mean you should shut them out for good. They need your help now more than ever. Please, at least speak with Thor.”

“Charles, why do I have the sinking feeling you’re hiding something from me?” You raised your eyes to look into his kind ones.

“Only because I don’t know the full story myself. All Thor would say is that he desperately needed to speak with you and that it regarded both the prisoner and a friend of yours that died several years back.”

That threw you for a loop. “He wants to talk about Phil? That doesn’t make any sense. It’s been 10 years since the attack on New York. Unless... he’s finally going to tell me how he died.”

“Thor never told you?” The men exchanged a look. They knew Agent Phil Coulson and you had been close friends. When he died, you nearly came undone and not being told how it happened hadn’t helped.

“No, I only saw his body afterwards. I know it was done with a weapon not of this world, but not who wielded it. If Thor is bringing a prisoner and wants to talk about Phil...”

“This prisoner must be the one responsible,” Charles concluded.

“Well, now I definitely can’t help. It will take all my restraint not to use my powers to squeeze the prisoner’s head until it pops like a cork.” Rage washed over you as you remembered seeing your friend's corpse.

“_____, please just speak to Thor when he arrives.”

“Alright, Charles. I’ll try.”

A few days later you were outside the mansion in the back with Cable and Wade trying to set up Wade’s new lawn furniture he bought. There were couches, benches, tables, and a huge cooler Cable had insisted on. The two men were in charge of putting it together and then you would move it to where Wade wanted it. Of course, nothing ever went smoothly when Wade and Nate tried to work together and this was no exception. They had already fought twice and now Wade had a screw driver crammed in his right eye.

As they finished putting together the last of the furniture, you could hear someone leave the mansion and walk towards you. You didn't bother to turn around, figuring it had to be Colossus making sure Nate hadn't killed Wade yet. The boys stepped out of the way and you pointed your hand to the furniture, causing every piece to lift into the air.

"Alright, Wilson. Where do you want this stuff?"

"Over here!" He ran over to the spot and started gesturing how each piece should be laid out. "No, that doesn't seem right. Try over here!"

You slowly moved your hand and the furniture followed through the air to the new location. "How's that?"

"Nah, I don't like that either. Try here!"

This went on for a while before it dawned on you that Deadpool was just fucking with you. So you promptly dropped everything at once except the cooler. That you raised higher in the air before dropping it onto Wade's head. He crumpled into a pile under the heavy cooler. "There. Perfect."

Nate chuckled as Wade struggled to crawl out from under the piece of furniture. The footsteps from earlier picked up again and walked over to where you stood.

"Will he be alright? I cannot believe you dropped that on top of him, Lady _____." The familiar voice made you happy and filled you with sorrow all at once.

Turning around, you gave the god a huge smile. "Not to worry, Thor. Wade heals from everything. Hell, he even grows body parts back. It's like he's part lizard. He'll be just fine."

Thor nodded his head as he looked at the merc still struggling to crawl out of the hole the cooler made. "____, I have come here to speak of important matters which require your assistance."

"You do remember that I'm not an Avenger anymore, right? Some day soon you'll have to look towards your teammates for help once more." You began to walk towards the mansion and Thor followed closely behind.

"This I know, but the matter at hand can only be handled by you and I."

"Thor, you know that's a big, fat lie. I'm not Asgardian, I'm not a Valkyrie, I'm not even a top tier mutant here on Earth. How in the actual hell am I supposed to help you with an Asgardian prisoner?"

"Because the prisoner is Loki." 

Your heart sunk in your chest and you slowly turned to face Thor. "That's not even remotely funny. Why the hell would you, of all people, say something like that?!"

"Because it is true. After you left the team, I was charged with bringing the gauntlet back to Etri so it could be destroyed." Thor looked down at his feet as he continued, "I know I should not have done so, but I used it to bring Loki back. I missed my brother so much and he spent his last minutes trying to save my life."

Your eyes began to water as you struggled to breathe. Loki was alive after all and here on earth. The only reason why you could think of he was at the compound and not in Norway where the new Asgardian town was, was because they either didn't have a prison set up yet or Thor orchestrated this to have Loki earn his redemption. "Thor... I..."

"Breathe, little one. Please, just breathe." Thor guided you to the stairs leading up to the back porch and had you sit with your head between your knees. "If it helps, Loki is unaware I came to you for help."

Once you gained your composure, you lifted your head to look at Thor. "I can't do this, Thor. Loki's death was the straw that broke the camel's back. True, he and I had broken up many years earlier, but I can't face him. Not ever again." 

"____, I have spoken to Loki and he is deeply remorseful for not only his crimes against earth, but for the ones towards you as well. He would like the chance to apologize in person." His large hand ran up and down your back as you began to hyperventilate again. "Please, come with me today to the compound. Just let him speak briefly to you, to explain."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "I will go, but on the condition I see no one else. I don't want anyone to know I am there."

"You never told them about you and Loki?"

"No, especially after what happened to New York. I didn't need them to look at me with suspicious eyes."

"Very well. We will leave at night and sneak in towards the back."

"Thank you, Thor."

That night, Thor pulled you into his arms and launched into the sky, towards the compound. You landed softly on the ground and began to make your way quietly towards the nearest door. Most of the lights inside were off, but you could still hear SHIELD agents walking around. A few seemed to be talking excitedly about something, no doubt the news about the captured Asgardian war criminal. You made your way down each hall, turning at the last minute anytime you heard someone approach your direction. Soon you came across a large metal door and Thor put his hand on the scanner by the doorway.

"I cannot guarantee they will not be watching the video cameras set up inside the room, but I know there is no one in the room."

"They left a prisoner unguarded?!" Your eyes grew wide at the lack of safety you were about to witness.

"No, no. Barton was the one on duty and I told him I was coming to speak a few minutes to my brother. He said once he heard me punch in my code, he would leave through the vents and come back once I alerted FRIDAY." 

The door slid open and you barely caught the noise of an air vent closing. You knew instantly that you weren’t alone. Barton was a spy and if Thor wanted to talk to Loki alone, he would sit in the air vent and wait despite FRIDAY recording everything in the room. Thor stopped just inside the doorway as you continued further into the room. It was set up very much like the cell on the Helicarrier had been, only now the prison cell glowed with Asgardian spells to make sure Loki stayed in place. As you made your way quietly down the stairs towards the cell, you caught sight of a camera and wondered who was on the other side. Fury, no doubt, as well as Maria Hill and maybe even Stark out of curiosity. And of course Cap and Natasha. The main ones who had been on the Helicarrier that day, except maybe Bruce. You couldn't see him purposely stressing himself out over this one-on-one. One that the team no doubt was unaware would include yourself. How many SHIELD agents were standing by, guns at the ready in case Loki decided to stop playing nice? Probably too many to count.

As you slowly rounded the corner, you could finally see into the cell. It was decorated with furniture brought from Asgard, beautiful, but sparse to keep in line with Loki being a prisoner. And then you could see the man himself. Dressed in black slacks and a dark green button up that had the sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons undone. His hair had gotten longer and was no longer slicked back, which actually made him look even more dashing than before. The dark hair and clothes only served to emphasize his pale skin which in turn made his green eyes glow like emeralds. You had forgotten how beautiful he was as you had refused to visit him when he was a prisoner aboard the Helicarrier. You weren’t even sure he knew you was there that day.

You walked until you were completely facing the main window where he was standing, having turned to follow your actions the moment you came into his sightlines. Part of you wanted to turn and leave. No one on the team, save Thor, knew you had dated this man. Hell, none of them knew that because of your ability to heal you were older than the age you appeared. If you stayed here to talk to Loki all of that would no doubt come to the surface and your privacy would fly right out the window.

But the desire to get answers was currently stronger than your need for secrecy. Once you looked into his eyes again, your self preservation disappeared as it always had before. He slowly looked you over, eyes not missing an inch of your body until they found your eyes staring directly at him. Loki licked his lips before parting them.

"Hello, darling."


	2. Do You Even Care?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Loki hash out their past while the Avengers/SHIELD look on. Reader gets the answer to a painful question.

The control room in the Avengers’ Compound was deadly silent. All eyes were fixed on the screens as they watched you walk into the facility with Thor. They weren’t sure at first that it was you walking in with the god. Thor had left the compound some time in the morning that day saying he needed to talk to someone who could help with Loki’s redemption. Then he called asking to speak with Loki alone that night. Nothing was adding up to the team.

At first it was only the core Avengers in the room: Tony, Natasha, Steve, and even Bruce watched the screen. Then Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and the very undead Phil Coulson joined the group. Everyone had lost their minds a few months ago when they had learned that Fury had ordered the revival of one of his best agents. After everyone celebrated his return, they then had to break the news that you were no longer an Avenger. Nor had you returned to SHIELD to be an agent again. You had been Coulson’s best agent and it broke his heart to know you had left.

That morning, after Thor left to talk to you, the team showed Coulson the video of you seeing his body after the attack on the Helicarrier. Fury had lead you into the room, clearly in a daze. As you approached his covered form, you reached with a shaky hand to pull back the sheet. There was a delayed reaction as your mind tried to register what you saw before you screamed as you dropped to your knees, your powers unleashing and shattering all the glass in that room. Before you left to follow Cap into battle, you leaned over Coulson’s body and vowed to find the bastard responsible.

And now here you were, face to face with the murderer and you had no idea. The team watched as you looked into the security camera before finally walking up to Loki’s cell. Coulson’s blood ran cold when he heard the god purr a greeting at you, and yet you didn’t even flinch. You removed your hooded jacket and placed it on the chair provided. Any doubt as to who had visited Loki was just removed in that gesture. Tony had FRIDAY raise the volume of the feed and even add closed caption to the screens.

The trickster god spoke again. “Well, isn’t this a wonderful surprise. Thor told me I would have a visitor, but I assumed it was more of those inferior agents.”

“Don’t play cute with me, Loki. I’m here because Thor said you wanted a chance to explain yourself. I’m only bothering with this because he's like a brother to me. So if you don’t want to talk, I’ll just leave and not lose a wink of sleep over it.” You slowly walked around the perimeter, eyeing the enclosure. Loki stayed at the window, but turned his body to follow you.

He let out a soft sigh. “You’re right, I have wanted to speak with you. I was under the impression you were here, so I was a little surprised it took Thor so long to return.”

“I’m not an Avenger anymore, nor a SHIELD agent. Too many events piled up and I no longer wish to be associated with either.” You finished your circle and faced Loki once again.

“That is surprising. You were always so strong, so determined. I did not think it was possible for anything to get in your way.”

“Liar!” Both Loki and everyone in the control room jumped at your outburst. “I was nothing to you! Worthless! Just some creature! A thing not worthy of an Asgardian Prince! Remember?!”

Loki hung his head and actually looked ashamed at his past words. “You’re right. I did say those awful things to hurt you, to wound you. In hopes you would not miss me.”

“Look at me, Laufeyson!” Loki snapped his head up, shock written all over his face. “Yeah, Thor told me what you really are. So I guess now the proper phrase is ‘not worthy of a Jötunheim King’, isn’t that correct?”

Everyone in the control room looked at each other in surprise, a thousand questions running through their minds. They didn’t dare voice any for fear of missing what was said next. 

Finally, Loki found his voice. “You were always worthy of me, but I was never worthy of you.”

“I always thought you were worthy. So that leaves the question: did you mean what you said or did Odin make you break my heart?”

Coulson’s jaw dropped at this. If he was hearing correctly, you were once lovers with the creature who killed him. There had been a secret part of him that had hoped that when you were no longer under his direct command, he could take you out and express his feelings towards you. But now that he knew you once danced with the devil, he was unsure of how to feel or what to do.

“Odin asked me to leave you. He said a Midgardian was not suitable of a bride for me. I did it for him, but I never stopped loving you.”

“You ripped out my heart for a man who was not fit to be a father to anyone. Great, thanks. Glad to know where I had stood in the grand scheme of things.” He had chosen Odin over you, a man who gave issues to all three of his kids. Fantastic. You wanted to leave at that, but something was still nagging at the back of your mind.

You walked up until you were an inch away from the glass and Loki followed suit. He raised his hand as if he wished he could touch you through the glass, but then set it back down. “My dear, I am so sorry for all the pain I caused. To everyone here on earth, but to you most of all. Please, I want to earn forgiveness.”

“Loki, when Thor first came to find me, I was told he wanted to talk about New York. More specifically, the attack on the Helicarrier right before.” In the control room, no one dared to move a muscle.

“The Helicarrier?”

“Yes. Did you know I was there that day? Did you know I would have died if you had succeeding in bringing it down?”

Loki, a man already too pale, felt the color drain from his face. “You were on board?”

“Yes! Would it have mattered if you knew?! From what Thor told me, you were under Thanos’ mind control!”

He slowly nodded his head. “I was indeed. And you’re right, it may not have mattered to me as I was not released from the control until...” He frowned at the memory. “Until the Hulk...tossed me around inside Stark’s tower.”

“I need to know something and I may already have the answer, but I need confirmation. My boss, Agent Phil Coulson, was killed on the Helicarrier. Thor had always refused to tell me how it happened, but I think deep down I always knew. Loki, did you kill Coulson?”

Loki scowled at the question. “Why do you still care after all these years?”

“Loki, answer the question.” You raised your voice slightly.

“Why? Did you harbor feelings for that dull mortal? You, who has lived longer than a century? You, who knows what it’s like to be with a god?”

“ANSWER ME, LOKI LAUFEYSON! DID YOU KILL PHIL COULSON?!” Your anger caused your powers to lash out and Loki was thrown to the other side of the cell. 

He was on his feet in a flash and back in your face, the glass the only thing keeping you from fighting him. “YES! I stabbed him in the heart through the back! Are you happy?!”

Tears were now streaming down your face and Phil ached to see you in pain. “You fucking bastard! Why?"

“Because he had a gun pointed at me and I was trying to escape! Why do you care so goddamn much?!”

You collasped into the chair where you had tossed your jacket. “Agent Coulson was the one to bring me into SHIELD. He was my boss and my mentor, and after a time my friend as well. When the Avengers Initiative was created, he didn’t hesitate to put me in as an option due to what I could do. He was the first person in a long time to actually give a damn about me.”

Loki was silent at this revelation. He always assumed you had easily replaced him after a decade or two. But to know there had been no one and then this mortal was the one to make you feel better, was like a knife in his own heart. “_____, do you.... do you still love me?”

It had taken every once of self control to keep Phil from running into the room to comfort you and now he wished he hadn’t stayed in the command center. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer.

You wiped aways the tears and sniffed, before standing up and grabbing your coat. “No, I don’t. A part of me thought I did for the longest time, like a wound that would never properly heal. I told you I left this place because of a series of events. Your death had been the final straw. At the time I thought maybe it was because deep down I still loved you. But that wasn’t true. It was because deep down I knew you killed Coulson and I would never get closure over that. So now I have a dilemma.”

“A dilemma?” Loki looked both worried and confused with a tinge of heartbreak from your confession.

“Yes. See, when I saw Coulson’s body, I vowed to find the person responsible. But I also promised Thor I would never hurt him like you had hurt him. So the question is: do I keep my promise to a dead man or to my alive brother?”

Loki’s mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out. He knew in this prison his powers were useless against the spells. If you wanted revenge, no one would be able to stop you from squeezing the life out of him with your telekinesis. 

You put your jacket back on and wiped the last of the tears away. Sighing, you began to make your way back to the door. “As much as I had cared for Agent Coulson, I can’t hurt Thor. You won’t see me again, Loki. Hating you is like me drinking a poison and waiting for you to die. And killing you would only make me feel temporarily better, but it won’t bring Phil back.”

Loki and everyone in the command center watch you leave the room with Thor. He guides you back outside and takes you back to the mansion, where you go inside to try to sleep the pain away.


	3. Sister Margaret’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader heads out drinking with a few of her friends. A SHIELD agent tries to crash the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still have not seen Agents of SHIELD so forgive me if my portrayal of Agent May is off.

“I can’t believe there’s still a dead pool here.” You take a swig from the vodka bottle in front of you as you look at the walls of the bar. Sister Margaret’s was the perfect place for you to try to drink your pain away. Unfortunately, much like Logan, your ability to heal handicapped you on trying to get drunk. You could usually drink two bottles of liquor before even feeling slightly buzzed.

Wade sat down with beer for him and Cable while Logan opted for a full bottle, like you, though his was of whiskey. “I know! Think I can sue for copyright?”

“You’re gonna sue your own friend? Plus, it did exist first.”

“Right. Fuck.” 

“Yo, _____!” Weasel shouted from behind the bar. “Do you wanna stick to Raz or go for orange on your next Stoli?”

“I honestly don’t give a fuck. Whichever you grab first.” The boys had found you sitting in your room, crying into a bottle of wine. You were mourning the death of your friend all over again since you had visited the compound. They figured if you were going to drink your pain away, you may as well do it amongst friends.

“You got it!” Weasel came over and placed a full bottle and took the empty one from your hands. You had already paid for two bottles a head of time, figuring you would go from there if you actually felt anything.

Logan took a long swig from his bottle and lit a cigar. “So you gonna tell us what the problem is?”

“Yeah,” you cracked open the new bottle a took a long drag. “I finally found the fucker who killed Coulson.”

All three boys were all ears. Before you worked for SHIELD, you tried your hand at mercenary work like Wade. Unlike him, you weren’t any good at it. So you stayed at Sister Margaret’s as a protector, which is how you met Wade, and through him the X-Men and the X Force. They had become like a second family to you and were happy when you returned.

“Yeah, it was my fucking ex-boyfriend.” You took another swig to dull the pain.

“Wow. Your ex killed your possible next.” Wade mused.

“What are you talking about, fuckhead?”

“Oh c’mon! No one, and I mean no one, mourns for a boss like that. All bosses are assholes so clearly you were fucking him or wanted to.” Wade grabbed a shot from a waitress walking by.

“I would really hate to kill you over something stupid. I was not in love with my boss.” You scowled in Wade’s direction and downed half the bottle in your hand. Ok, so you had toyed with the idea of what if’s in regards to Coulson. But you also knew that Coulson was a stickler for rules and by-laws so that alone would stop him. And if that wouldn’t, you being 150 years old and Loki’s old lover would.

“I never said love, I said fuck.” Wade wiggled his eyebrows at you.

Before you could respond, the entire bar got eerily quiet. Looking up, you watched as an east Asian lady walked in, clearly out of her comfort zone. She was a little bit older than you appeared to be and was dressed in dark slacks and a white button up. If you didn’t know any better, you would swear she was government. But no government agent would be stupid enough to come in here.

She spotted you and bee-lined over to your group, trying her best to dodge Sister Margaret’s regulars. “____ _____? I’m Agent Melinda May. We need to talk.”

“No.” You took another swig from your bottle.

“I beg your pardon?” Clearly she wasn’t used to hearing no.

“She said ‘fuck off’” Cable grunted at her.

“You don’t understand. I’m with SHIELD.”

“Oh, well in that case: go fuck yourself.” You slammed the bottle on the table. “I’m not a SHIELD agent anymore so frankly I don’t give two shits about what you want.”

“I’m here about Agent Coulson.”

She honestly couldn’t have picked a worse sentence to utter. Within seconds, each person at your table was up and in her way. Wade had a sword out, Cable a gun, and Logan his claws. You remained sitting, your head tilting to one side as you looked her over. May seemed unphased by the weapons, though curious at Logan’s claws.

“Agent May, I will say this only once: leave and you’ll be able to live. I don’t know why you came in here and brought up Agent Coulson and frankly I don’t want to know why. Leave, now”

She pursed her lips at you and then slowly nodded her head. “I know you were close to Agent Coulson, one of his best agents. He always spoke highly of you. The only mutant to work for SHIELD. I will need to talk to you soon.”

“Maybe one day you’ll get your chance. But now you need to leave. Give Fury my regards.” You gesture at the boys and slowly they each put their weapons away and took their seats back at the table. Looking at her face, you sighed. “Alright. I work at Xavier’s School. Send an agent there tomorrow and I’ll talk then. But for now, I’d rather drink.”

May nodded her head and quietly left the bar. All three boys turned to look at you. Cable spoke up. “Was that a good idea?”

“Probably not, but they’ll keep coming until I relent so may as well get it over with.”


	4. Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Agent May talk about Coulson and getting Reader to see the Avengers once more.

Agent May kept to your word and was at the school promptly at noon. You had just dismissed your class to leave for lunch when she walked in and took a seat without waiting for an invitation. Sighing, you took your seat at your desk.

“Well, I guess I should have figured you’d be the one to come speak to me. You know, we never got to work together but after I thought about it, I had heard of you while I was at SHIELD. They call you the Calvary, correct?”

May narrowed her eyes. “No one calls me that.”

“If you say so. So why did you come here wanting to talk about Agent Coulson? Oh, and sorry about yesterday. I was finally told who killed Coulson and I wasn’t taking the news well at all.” You shrug your shoulders and offer a small, apologetic smile.

“So I heard. You caused quite a ruckus at the compound.”

Now it was your turn to narrow your eyes. “You were there? How many people watched that?”

“Just the top level agents. Myself, Fury, Hill, and one or two more. We knew Loki was expecting a visitor and no one could have anticipate it would be a former agent.”

You sighed and nodded your head. “I know. My former relationship with the trickster god seemed irrelevant when I joined SHIELD.”

“What about during New York?”

“I already have too many people giving me the side eye for being a mutant. If they had also known I was his former lover while he destroyed half the city, I could have kissed my freedom goodbye and not been able to help the team.”

“You really think that would have happened?”

“I know it would have happened. Especially after Ph-“ you caught your almost slip up and cleared your throat. “Coulson was killed.”

May raised her eyebrows at the way you almost casually called Coulson by his first name. She, too, had seen the video feed of you reacting to Coulson’s death. May was protective of Coulson since his revival and wasn’t sure you could be trusted after knowing you had been with Loki.

Finally, she sighed and stood up. “I’m not just here to talk about Coulson. I’m here to bring you back to the compound.”

“And what makes you think I’ll go? I have no business at the compound.”

“Weren’t they your family?”

“A very dysfunctional one that broke up shortly after the divorce of its two dads. What is this really about, Agent May?”

“Today we are deciding whether or not to give Loki Odinson a second chance. Or Laufeyson as you called him. So we need everyone who was affected by his actions.”

“How are you planning on getting the entire city of Manhattan in the compound?”

She gave a small smirk at your sass. “Currently, we’re letting SHIELD and the Avengers make the deciding call. As you were once a part of both at the time of the attack, your presence is requested.”

You rolled your eyes. “Requested. Like Fury has ever offered me a choice.”

“Are you coming or should I call Fury?”

“Fine. Let’s get this over with.” The car ride to the compound was tense to say the least. You could tell Agent May didn’t trust you and it took every effort to resist the instinct to create a shield between you.

But inside the compound was a different story. It hadn’t mattered greatly to the Avengers who you had slept with in the past: they missed you on the team.

The first to find you was Parker. He swung down from the ceiling and wrapped you in a big hug. “You’re back! I always knew you’d come back! Mr Stark, look who it is!”

You laughed as you tried to walk further into the building with Parker clinging to you, acting more like a spider monkey than a spider. “Stark! I need some WD-40! Got a Klingon here!”

“C’mon kid, show some dignity! You’re an Avenger now.” Parker pouted, but let go. Only to be replaced by Tony himself. “What makes you think you can leave and never once visit?! You’re mother and I have been worried sick!”

Laughter kept pouring out of you as each Avenger took turns ‘scoulding’ you for not visiting. Finally Steve walked up. “Your father’s right. You’re grounded, young lady.”

“Yes, mom.” You smirked up at the super soldier before giving him a big hug. “How has everything been here? How are you and Shannon?”

“We’re good now that the Accords aren’t a thorn in our sides. Been tossing around the idea of maybe taking the next step.”

“Man, I gotta get ready for another wedding? Hope it’s not as crazy as Stark’s was.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I had the most impressive guest list to this day.” Tony spoke up from behind the bar. “By the way, Pepper says ‘hi’ and wishes she could have been here.”

Clint suddenly dropped from the vents and picked you up for a bear hug. “How dare you not come by the farm and visit your niece and nephews?!”

“I know, Hawkbutt! I’m sorry! Tell Laura I plan to visit soon. Hard to get vacation days when you’re a teacher and an X-Men.” You finally dropped onto one of the couches, figuring you had said hi to everyone at this point. Agent May had stayed off to the side, waiting for the commotion to die down.

“So do you think you can do this today?” Tony came over from the bar and handed you a drink.

“You guys act like I have a choice in the matter. Clearly Fury feels I need to voice my opinion on Loki so here I am.”

Everyone looked over at Agent May. Steve spoke up. “You didn’t tell her?”

“I figured it was best coming out of you as she probably wouldn’t have believed me.” May offered a small shrug.

“Tell me what?” You looked at each Avenger, but none of them could look you in the eye. “Tell me what?!”

Finally, Natasha spoke up. “We’re not the only ones waiting to see you.”

She nodded behind you, but before you could turn around you heard his voice. “Welcome home, Agent ____.”


	5. Zombie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader wonders if she can handle more people coming back from the dead.

You were standing outside the back of the Avengers' Compound facing the lake. The cool breeze felt amazing, clearing your head and easing the dizziness that had overwhelmed you moments ago.

"I've heard that putting your head between your knees helps with dizziness."

"So does warning a person they're about to witness something fucking life changing, Fury. What the actual hell? How could you just let me walk blindly into that?" You didn't bother to turn to face the former SHIELD Director as he walked up to stand next to you.

"Agent May was ordered to tell you before you even got into her car. I have never known her to disobey an order before." Fury took a sip of his coffee, "besides, we all thought you'd be happy to see him."

"I am happy to see Agent Coulson. It's just this is the second person in the span of a week to come back from the dead. Forgive me for making sure I wasn't having a nervous break down."

"Director Coulson. I promoted him shortly after he was revived."

"Fine. I'm happy to see Director Coulson. Just.... for fuck sake, Fury. Thank the gods I heal or I would have probably died of a heart attack back in there." You frown and look at Fury out of the corner of your eye.

"Speaking of which-"

"Hey, guess what we're not talking about right now? That." You finally turned to face him. "Don't start on my mutations. That is literally not even on the table for discussion at the moment. We have something way more important to discuss right now. So which is it: vampire or zombie?"

Fury sighed and gave you his best one-eyed glare. "If we're going to mention things we're not talking about-"

"Uh-uh, no! We are talking about Coulson which means you need to let me know. Did you send him there?"

"Did you seriously just ask me the question you damn well you know the answer to?"

"Why the fuck did you do that to him? He's not a mutant, Nick. What if he can't handle that alien DNA inside him? What if he goes crazy like the others did? Sometimes a person is supposed to stay dead."

"Are you saying you wish he had stayed dead?"

"Nick, don't fucking do that shit. You're not Stark, don't start twisting my words around. You know damn well I'm glad to see him alive. He means a lot to me. I mean, for God sake, he thought he was saving me from Sister Margaret's. But if he starts losing his damn mind because you sent him to T.A.H.I.T.I., you will then have to deal with me and no force on this planet will stop me from making your life a living hell."

"Like you are for Loki?" 

It took all your restraint not to punch him. "You don't mean the same to Thor that Loki does. You haven't spent the last one thousand years as his brother. Adopted or not. And if you question my loyal towards Coulson one more fucking time I will rip that other eye clear out your damn head."

"He loves you, too. Just fucking get it out there already. We're all tired of watching you two dance around the subject."

You went from being red in the face from anger to red from embarrassment. "I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about."

"Mmm-hm." He gave you the 'look' and walked back into the compound. You let out a loud sigh and began to follow him in, only to be stopped at the door.

"Agent Coulson! I mean Director Coulson. Sorry to have run out earlier, it's just... been a weird week for me." You finished lamely.

He nodded his head. "I know and I'm sorry no one warned you before I walked up. Surprised, really. I'll need to talk to Melinda about that."

"No, it's ok. I get where she was coming from. She's very protective of you, Director Coulson, and I honestly wouldn't have believed her. The others, however, should have known better than to leave me blind like that." You put your hands on your hips and look at the ground. Never in a million years did you think you would be face to face with him again and you were at a loss for words. 

He stepped closer to you and there was an electrical charge between you both. You looked up into his blue eyes and felt him take one step closer. Fury said he felt the same, but you couldn't let yourself believe that. Phil could do so much better than a mutant who was the former lover of his killer. He barely spoke above a whisper. "____, it's ok to call me Phil now. I'm not your boss anymore."

You nodded your head and answered him at the same volume. "I know, but old habits die hard. How... how have you been feeling since-"

"Good, good." He licked his lips and you tried so hard not to watch. "I, uh, was sad to hear you weren't on either team anymore."

"I know, but it just got to be too much. The Avengers are like a huge dysfunctional family. But not on purpose like at Sister Margaret's. Between people being killed, the murder bots, and Cap and Stark fighting like toddlers, I just couldn't take it anymore." You sighed and tried to ease the tension. "I'm really sorry, Phil. I should have told you about my ability to heal. And about Loki. I didn't think about it then, but we... I.. you're death may have be avoided if I had just spoken up instead of worrying about how everyone would view me for my past."

He looked down and nodded his head. "Maybe. Or maybe he would have found some other way to do it. But it wasn't in vain; the Avengers found something to finally bring them together."

"A death shouldn't be what does that. It should have been easier than that, but there were too many big egos in the damn room." You closed your eyes and sighed. "No, this is on me. Anything I knew on him could have helped and I was selfish."

"You weren't selfish, you were trying to keep yourself alive. I know SHIELD hadn't been the most welcoming to you when you joined and I should have helped make you feel you could have trusted us more."

You opened your eyes to look at him. "I trusted you, Phil. It was everyone else I was unsure of."

He took another step closer to you, finally making up his mind about what to do about his feelings. You took an unsteady breath and tried to find a place to focus your eyes. No matter how hard you tried, they kept falling to his lips and he clearly knew it. He licked his lips again and slowly leaned in. "I'm so very glad to see you again."

"Me too," you barely whispered. Your lips were about to meet when...

"Holy fuck, how many chains are on him?!" Clint shouted from inside the compound. Both of you jumped at the noise and the spell was broken, much to your dismay. You'll have to get Barton back for that one.

"As many as are needed for this meeting to be safe." Stark retorted.

You close your eyes and put a hand on your chest, right above your heart. "I'm going to fucking murder that archer."

Phil chuckled and opened the door to the compound for you. "C'mon. I think we're late to the meeting."

Inside the compound, everyone had found a seat and was facing an overly bound up Loki who now had his own guard. The woman was about your height with dark brown hair and eyes, wearing a beautiful armored suit and a sword. She looked over in your direction and winked. If what you remembered about Thor's stories were correct, that was Brunnhilde, a Valkyrie.

Loki raised an eyebrow in your direction as you and Phil found places to sit amongst the crowd. "I thought I was never going to see you again."

"I thought so, too. But apparently Fury feels I need to weigh in on your fate." You were silently glad Phil had to sit across the room from you. After what almost happened outside, you knew you wouldn't have been able to pay attention at all and Loki would have picked up on that instantly. “So let’s get this circus over with. What options are we looking at here?”

Fury spoke up from the back of the room. “Well, the biggest thing is trust. Only two people in this room seem to trust Loki. Three if you count the Hulk.”

Banner shrugged. “We hadn’t really talked about it, but they seemed to work as a team aboard the Asgardian ship when Thanos attacked.”

Fury continued. “So that leaves Thor and ____ to explain why Loki should get a second chance. If we agree he does, then we move to the next step.”

You took a deep breath before you started. “I honestly don’t know how much my opinion will count. I-" you cleared your throat, "was... with Loki for 60 years, but the last time he and I spoke was 50 years ago. The person who attacked New York was not the one I knew. So either he changed drastically because of Odin’s awesome parenting - which is a HUGE possibility given how their sister ended up - or he truly was under the Mind Stone’s control thanks to Thanos. Thor would be able to tell you about the new and improved Loki more so than I could.”

“Do you trust him, _____?” Steve’s eyes were focused on Loki.

“Well, I trust him not to hurt me physically, but I don’t know what that would mean to any of you.” You look over at Loki who’s only focused on your face. “A lot will need to go into Loki earning everyone’s trust back. And not just the team, but people on this planet as well. And I don’t know if that means community service on top of doing missions, but something needs to take place if he’s staying on earth.”

“____ is correct.” Thor chimed in. “It will be a long road but I know my brother wishes to remain here on earth so we must work together. He wishes to belong.”

“Does he though?” Phil questioned.

Loki spoke up. “I do. That has been a large problem of my past: not belonging anywhere. My own father left me to die, Odin took me in but never truly saw me as his own, ____ loved me but I never felt worthy of her. The only one to stay by my side other than my adopted mother, was Thor. No matter how many times I betrayed him, he stayed. He is a brother I do not deserve but am grateful for.”

Your eyes became misty as your heard his words and you wondered why he couldn’t have been this person when you two were together. "Well, for what it's worth, if Thor wants Loki here on earth I will try my best to look past my pain and help him. But again, I was not nearly screwed over to the degree others were."

You look over at Coulson and could see that he was trying to weigh the pros and cons of Loki staying. "I could end up regretting this, but I've taken chances on people before that had no business being a part of SHIELD. I guess I can do it one more time for Thor if he promises to have a constant watch on him until the trust is earned."

"Of course, Son of Coul! Brunnhilde, ____, and myself will gladly take turns watching Loki." Thor boomed.

You did a double take. "I'm sorry, I'm doing what now?"

"Helping to watch Loki, of course."

"Thor..." you shook your head. "Thor, I'm not an Avenger anymore. I don't even live in the compound anymore. You better get Lady Sif on the job."

"But ____, it has to be you! You know Loki as well as I!"

"Then it's settled." Fury walked over to stand in front of Loki, "____ will get a leave of absence from the X-Men and the school and move back in here until Loki has earned our trust."

"I'm sorry, but don't I get a say in this? You're not the director of me."

"I'm not the director of anybody. But the fastest way for Loki to earn our trust is if people who know when he's lying are under the same roof as him. And when he's earned a little trust, you, Loki, and Coulson will go on missions together."

"WAIT, WHAT?!" You shouted. Even Coulson looked up in surprise at this.

"The biggest trust issue in this room - besides New York as a whole - was Coulson being killed by Loki. If the three of you can work together on a mission and everyone comes back in one piece and alive, then we know Loki will be true to his word." Coulson opened his mouth to protest, but Fury was having none of it. "We either do it this way, or we lose Thor as an Avenger. And I don't know about you, Director Coulson, but we don't exactly have another demigod just lying around waiting for their chance."

You sigh and hang your head. "Seven Hells. Fine, let's get this bus fire over with."


	6. X-Men or Prison Guard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader, Thor, and Hilde are supposed to take turns watching Loki, but an emergency arises. Reader starts feeling exhausted from the situation.

You stumbled very zombie like into the kitchen of the Avengers' Compound. The team plus Coulson were gathered around the table having breakfast as you made your way to the fridge.

"Well there's our morning star!" Tony's greeting earned him a growl from you. "Still not a morning person? How have you lived so long and not gotten used to mornings yet?"

"Mornings were fine until I starting spending my entire nights watching my ex to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. Not exactly how I pictured spending my retirement from you guys." You grabbed the first energy drink you see and down half the can. "Man, I wish the ability to heal meant the ability to never need sleep."

"Well come have some breakfast!" Nat patted the seat next to her, which happened to also be next to Coulson. "We saved you some food!"

"Thanks, but I can't stay long. Brunnhilde relieved me long enough to grab a quick bite and a nap." You take the seat and grab some bacon, "Thor has been called for an emergency in Norway so he and Hilde will be leaving in a couple of hours."

"But isn't it Thor's turn to watch Loki?" Phil looked over at you concerned for your well being. It had been two weeks since you moved back into the compound and you and Phil haven't had a moment alone the entire time to try to talk about what almost happened. If you weren't guarding Loki, you were either sleeping or training with Hilde in case Loki did escape.

"Thor is now king of Asgard. While he has left some people in charge, if he is needed he must go. It's his responsibility. And it's not just Asgard. The king is in charge of keeping all 9 realms safe. That's how Thanos got that damn gauntlet made in the first place: lack of proper Asgardian leadership." 

"And Odin just let that happen? A lack of security?"

You cleared your throat, remembering the story Thor told you when you met back up two years ago in Wakanda. "Um, it wasn't technically Odin in charge during the years Thanos was able to get the gauntlet made and destroy Zandar."

It was quiet for a few beats before Tony asked the obvious. "Then who was in charge?"

"Well Stark, you get three guesses and the first two don't count." You ran your hand over your face. "All he ever wanted was to feel valid, to feel loved, to matter. But he had no idea what it truly meant to rule Asgard and we all paid the price for it."

Tony rolled his eyes and slid back in his chair. "Great. Well that certainly doesn't give him an edge in the trust department."

Before you could comment further, Thor came running into the room. "There you are, _____!"

"Of course. Hilde is watching Loki while I grab a quick bite and a nap. I was returning in an hour."

"I'm afraid that's not possible. Hilde and I need to leave now. The issue that has arose is the rebuilding of Nidavellir. Some of the dwarves may have fled during Thanos' attack. We need to bring them back so that the forge can be rebuilt. Brunnhilde and I must depart now."

You drop your head to hit it against the table. "Of course. Please send Lady Sif over here before you depart the planet. I'm not built to stay up for days straight while you hunt down giant dwarves."

Standing up, you chug the rest of your drink, grab one more from the fridge and a waffle before you head down the hall back to Loki's cell. Once the door opened to the room, Hilde was rushing past you. "Sorry I can't stay to help! But we need to get the dwarves back to where they can be safe!"

You just tiredly wave at her as she runs out the door. When you reach the cell, Loki raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Back already?"

"Only until Lady Sif shows up. Apparently your brother has been summoned by Etri to help in Nidavellir." You drop into the chair and look at the waffle in your hand, wondering if you may be too tired to even eat. "How the fuck did I get roped into this again?"

"You made the mistake of sleeping with me."

"Didn't realize I uttered that outloud. And it wasn't a mistake. Well, at the time anyway. You just had to be the God of Mischief, didn't you." You frown at the waffle and decide to chug the second drink instead. 

"You look positively exhausted, my dear."

"Thanks." You take an angry bite of your waffle.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean for that to come out so harshly. I'm just worried about you." You glance up at his face and see he's telling the truth. "It will be alright if you wish to catch a few minutes of sleep. I won't tell anyone."

"It won't matter. Stark's AI, FRIDAY, will rat me out. I'm trying to help vouch for you. If I fall asleep during guard duty, we'll both end up in that cell." You manage to finish the last of the waffle and the energy drink.

"Do you really think your mortal will allow that?"

"My mortal? Loki, I don't have a mortal." You rubbed your eyes, desperately trying to stay awake until your relief came.

"Yes, you do. The poor man I killed." You looked at Loki but he refused to meet your gaze. "I'm.... I'm very sorry about that. I did not know what he had meant to you. I feel, maybe even under the control of the stone, I would have avoided doing anything to directly hurt you. As I always had."

"You mean, besides when you ripped my heart out of my chest?"

He nodded. "Yes, besides that. The mortal.... he's- he's good for you. Not like myself. Do you... do you love him?"

You bite you lip and look down. "I'm not sure what my feelings are in regards to Coulson. I just know they're complicated. And that he could do better than me."

"That's not true. You are an amazing person and deserve the best." You didn't notice Loki suddenly look off to the side of you.

"And he deserves someone who wasn't once in the arms of his killer." Suddenly there was a hand on your shoulder. "Holy hell!"

"Sorry!" Nat apologized. "Didn't you hear?"

"You walking up? No. I'll need to sew a bell onto that cat suit, for fuck sake." You slump back in the chair. "Gods I hate you guys."

"No you don't." She smiled down at you. "No, did you hear about Lady Sif? She's not coming. So I'm here to relieve you for now."

"Hooray. If I'm not up in a few hours, just have Stark dump a bucket of water onto my head." You stood up and stretch, suddenly feeling the past 20 hours of being up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off for my mini coma."

In the hall, you sleepily made your way to your old room. It had surprised you to know Stark had kept it unoccupied and even dust free during the two years after you left, as if he felt you would always return to the team. But now instead of it feeling like home, it felt empty. All of your personal items were back at the mansion and you only brought a month's worth of clothes and one uniform just in case. You were about to close the door behind you and fall flat onto the bed, when a hand stopped you.

"Sorry, I know you must be exhausted, but can I come in?"

"Uh, sure Phil." You move out of the way so he could come into the room. "What's on your mind?"

"I just wanted to say I'm really sorry that you're being put through all of this. It's like you're being punished along side Loki."

"Well, considering what I withheld, it seems rather apropos for me to be punished as well." Unable to stand any longer, you plop down on your bed. Phil came and sat down next to you.

"I still don't think it's right. You should only be here if you want to be, not because you're forced to watch a prisoner." He gently laid a hand on your back and began to move it up and down in a comforting fashion. 

You close your eyes and lean into his touch. "It's ok, it's for Thor and he's practically my brother. If it's important to him, it's important to me. I just feel like bitching about it because I am pretty much babysitting my ex."

"I think that was the hardest part for me: knowing you had been with him. It was hard for me to see him after you first visited and not picture you in his arms." He leaned over and touched his forehead to your temple. "I know that's unfair to you."

You took a deep breath and all you could smell was his cologne. "It's fine, Phil. I completely get it. If I was in your position I would have felt the exact same way. Now, I really don't want to be rude and as good as this feels, but I really should get some sleep."

He chuckled and moved so you could lie down. Before he could get up, you grab his arm. "Yes?"

"Stay here, please. Until I fall asleep? I haven't seen you in ten years and these past two weeks I've only caught glimpses. Sometimes I feel it's a dream and you're still dead."

He nodded his head and laid down next to you, pulling you close so your head was on his chest right over his heart. "I've... I've wanted to hold you like this for a very long time."

Those words made you melt into his side, a happy sigh on your lips. "I'm sorry it took us so long."

He kissed your head and responded, but you never heard it as you quickly fell asleep in Phil's arms.


	7. Mission Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader, Loki, and Coulson finally go on a mission together.

"It's always a Hydra base, isn't it? I guarantee when the nuclear war comes about, all that will be left is a handful of mutants, cockroaches, and fucking Hydra." You were going over the dossier in regards to the mission you were finally sent on with Coulson and Loki. It had taken four long sleep deprived months to finally get here.

Loki spoke up. "As well as Thor and myself, and perhaps a few other Asgardians."

"Maybe. You guys have never been exposed to radiation before, so who's really to say."

"Have you?" Loki countered.

"Personally? No. But Logan has, and our healing is very similar. If he could survive a nuclear bomb, it stands to say I probably could as well." You toss the folder on to a chair on the quinjet. "Not saying I want to test that theory any time soon."

Coulson walked over from the cockpit where Hawkeye was currently flying your team to the drop location. "Better fighting Hydra than a bunch of inhumans, no offense."

You cocked at eyebrow in his direction. "None taken, especially since inhumans and mutants aren't even the same thing. For one thing, I don't have Kree DNA running through me."

"Right, sorry. I forget that sometimes. Hard to keep track when both species can do extraordinary things." He took a seat next to the tossed folder.

"Except.... mutants aren't a different species. The only difference between us and normal humans is our X-Gene was activated." Things had become awkward between you and Coulson since the day you fell asleep in his arms. You're schedule had stayed packed so you never had a chance to hash things over. A part of you wondered if he regretted getting close; that tiny insecure part that said you could never have a good person like Phil Coulson. But another, slightly more rational part, said you had just been two busy to talk to him properly and once this mission was over you'd get your chance. Or go back to the X Mansion empty handed.

Loki cleared his throat and you turned to face him. He was dressed in his normal Asgardian clothing, but without the cape. You had convinced him it would be widely impractical inside a Hydra base, along with that horned helmet of his. "My dear, do we have a plan once we land?"

"Me, personally? No. But I always left that up to Coulson, he was way better at it than I." You turn back to face Coulson who was the unspoken leader of your trio for this mission.

Coulson was looking at the dossier now, trying to forget how he confused inhumans with mutants and possibly insulting you in the process. "Once we land, we'll have to be quick in getting to the building. Since Loki can shape-shift, he'll be the one to get us past the guards. Obviously, you'll provide us with any shields needed or larger items/heavy doors moved. I've got the usb file and will access the computer for the files once we're inside. Shouldn't take more than twenty minutes assuming it's not too heavily guarded. If it is, we'll have a little overtime."

"I thought you, of all people, never assumed anything." You looked down at him as he tried not to look at you.

"Well, I didn't use to, then I was stabbed in the heart. Now I anticipate all outcomes." You and Loki exchange an awkward look before you walk over to Hawkeye.

"Hey, Hawkbutt. How's it feel to be on the mission but not?" You lean against his chair as you look out the window.

Clint spared a quick look at you and chose to ignore your question. "If there was anymore tension back there, this entire jet would explode. I thought you and Coulson were on good terms, even dating. What happened?"

"We were never dating, Clint. We had a few moments where we blurred the friendship line, but nothing actually has happened yet." You sigh and glance back at the other two. Coulson was trying not to glare at Loki, who kept stealing glances in your direction. This was going to be a long mission. "I hate to say it, but the problem is Loki. He's trying every way possible, but Coulson isn't ready to trust him."

"It doesn't help that Loki's still in love with you."

"Not helping, Hawkbutt." You push off his chair and head to the back of the quinjet again to defuse any possible fights.

Coulson had ditched his jacket and tie and was now strapping on a bullet proof vest. You had slipped into your X-Men uniform back at the compound and now looked it over to make sure everything was in place. Tony had offered to try to find your old SHIELD uniform or even your Avengers outfit, but you waved away his offer saying that this was your uniform now when in the field.

The quinjet landed quietly and the three of you cautiously exited. Hawkeye was to take the quinjet somewhere safe and come back for you when you gave the signal. You instantly put up a protective dome around the three of you as you began to make your way to the Hydra base. When you were a hundred yards back, you lowered the shield so Loki could continue on in his disguise, posing as one of the officers that was supposed to be visiting that day. In a matter of minutes, he had subdued the guards at the door and now all three of you were inside the building facing three separate hallways.

"So which direction should we take?" You tried your best to look down each hall, but the corridors where dark after the first five feet.

"The computer lab is supposed to be in the east wing, so we'll need to go left." Phil led the three of you down one of the hallways and you once again put a dome over the group. 

The whole building was strangely quiet and it was putting all three of you on edge, but none of you lost your cool. When footsteps seemed to be approaching, Loki glamoured you and Coulson to match Loki in the latest Hydra wear. You reached a door too heavy for even the god to move, and with a flick of your hand it swung easily. And when Loki almost stepped into a trap, Coulson pulled him back at the last minute. You were all working well together and deep down you didn't think it would actually go this way, assuming your two teammates would be bickering the entire time.

Inside the computer lab, you and Loki took opposite ends of the room to stand guard while Coulson went to work downloading all the files. Unfortunately, the moment Coulson placed the usb drive into the computer, an alarm went off. All three of you looked at each other in horror.

"Shit! They must have set this up for us! Coulson, see if you can still get the files. Loki, once he's done get him the hell out of here. I'll hold them off before tearing this entire building down."

"That's not part of the mission, ____." Coulson reminded from behind the computer.

"Fuck the mission! I'm not burying you twice, goddamnit. And I'm sure as hell not letting this building stand now that they know we're here." You threw up a shield against the door you had been watching and shortly after there was a loud banging on the other side.

Coulson barely pulled the usb out when Hydra agents burst through the door Loki had been guarding. Loki tackled Coulson to the ground the moment the bullets starting flying and you barely had time to put the shield fully around your own body. When they took the second to reload, you dropped your shield and used your powers to fling the agents out of the door, slamming it behind them.

You raced over to where Coulson and Loki were on the ground, seeing a small pool of blood forming. "Oh my god! Phil!"

Loki grabbed your shoulders and lightly shook you. "It's not his, it's mine." He pulled back his arm to show the graze in his side. "I managed to get him out of the way in time."

You closed your eyes for a moment and briefly hugged Loki. He had taken the fire knowing the bullets wouldn't have killed him. "Thank you. You need to get him out of here. I'll hold off the agents."

Coulson sat up and grabbed your arm. "We're not leaving you behind, I won't allow it."

Before you could stop yourself, you grabbed Coulson's face and gave him a quick kiss. "You stubborn ass man, you are getting the hell out of here. No option! I can heal, you won't as noted from past experiences. Now go!"

Loki pulled Coulson to his feet and you used your powers to break open the window. "Once we reach the woods, we will alert Barton of your situation."

"Don't worry, Laufeyson. I got this covered." You lifted the two off their feet, out the window, and onto the ground safely. Turning back around, you unleashed all your powers and starting throwing agents around like rag dolls, occasionally stopping to put up a shield against a rain of bullets. As you ran through the halls, you began to pull the walls down around you. Bursting out the main door, you rolled across the ground as the entire building began to collapse. You didn't get a chance to catch your breath before a pair of hands grabbed your shoulders.

"Don't react! It's just us!" Looking up, you could see Coulson and Loki pulling you to safety over by the landing quinjet. "We need to get out of the range of that falling building."

Your group quickly boarded the quinjet and went over to Hawkeye to watch the rest of the building collapse. Clint shook his head.

“I will say one thing: missions will never be dull if you three are on the team.”


	8. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson tries to talk Reader out of leaving the Avengers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovely readers! Sorry this one took so long to update. My editor, Plushdice, and I are on different time zones and I kept changing one chapter a few times as I just couldn't get the feeling I wanted. Hopefully you all enjoyed reading this one! I am open to any requests! 
> 
> I'm gonna take a mini break before completing the last part of my series 'If you could live forever' and then do an Everett/Reader story. I never have a plot in mind when I start a story so I'm always just as surprised as you guys on where a chapter ends up, haha! All my ideas come to me when listening to music, so once I hit my muse for a little bit, I'll be back up and writing!
> 
> So if there's a pairing you want to see, let me know and I'll see if I can make it happen!
> 
> Thanks for reading! - Phoenixrl

"So, just like that you're leaving us again?" Peter Parker was walking around your room as you packed, only he was on the ceiling. He had joined the team shortly before you left, so you never really had a chance to get used to his unique way of traveling around the compound. "I thought you liked it here with us."

"Peter, I do like it here. But I'm an X-Men now and I need to get back to my team. I was only here long enough for the Avengers to learn to trust Loki. Now that they do, it's time for me to go home." You had gone on four more missions with Coulson and Loki before the team determined Loki no longer needed to be locked up. It had been six months; six months of playing prison guard with Thor and Hilde, six months of training with Hilde on how to fight like a Valkyrie, six months of very little sleep. While it had been great to see everyone again, you were eager to get back to your schedule of mostly being a teacher, occasional X-Men missions, and the rare night of being needed at Sister Margaret's.

"But you belong here!" He pouted as he made another circuit around your room.

"Actually, Peter, I belong there. I'm a mutant and I really should spend my time and powers helping other mutants. The only reason why I had joined the Avengers in the first place was because Director Coulson asked me. At the time there wasn't anyone on the team that could do what I can, but now Scarlet Witch has that corner of the market taken care of." You closed your bag and looked up at the young man as he crouched in a corner of your ceiling. "You know, you can always visit me at the school."

"But what about Director Coulson? I mean, aren't you... isn't he your...?" Peter blushed, unable to finish his question.

You looked down at your bag and sighed. "Director Coulson will be heading back to his SHIELD team. He has obligations as well. I know Tony tried to do everything he could to prepare you for life as an Avenger, but there's one thing he forgot to mention: team members leave. Whether they die like poor Quicksilver, or they retire like Tony and Cap plan to, or they join another team like I did. Nothing in this world is permanent, Peter, and this team is no exception."

Parker flipped down from the ceiling, landing perfectly on his toes. Nodding his head, he came over to give you a hug. "Yeah, I guess. It's just so hard when it seems like everyone is leaving at once."

There was a quiet knock on your door. "Parker, you're not annoying _____, are you?"

"No, Mr. Stark." Tony opened the door to see Peter clinging to you in a tight one-last-hug as you rubbed the kid's back. "I was just saying goodbye."

"More like giving me a guilt trip. Ok, Peter. Clearly your dad and I need to talk so I'll catch you one more time before I leave." Parker reluctantly let you go and left the room, closing the door behind him. "Ok, did you want to start your guilt trip now, Stark, or wait for the rest of the team?"

"Dad?" Stark raised an eyebrow at you.

"Oh, please. You and Parker definitely have the father-son dynamic going on, you may as well adopt the boy."

He smirked at you. "I'll give you that. So you're abandoning us once again?"

You rolled your eyes. "Come on, Stark, you can do better than that. You know damn well why I left the first time, and nothing has really changed. Ok, so two people who were dead are now alive, but honestly do you want zombies? Cause that's how you get zombies."

"And you plan to abandon both zombies as made clear by your packing."

"Oh my god, can you use a better word than abandon? I'm not abandoning anyone. I'm not an Avenger nor SHIELD agent anymore, remember? I retired from both almost three years ago. I'm an X-Men, Stark."

"Who moonlights at a bar for mercenaries."

"I don't moonlight, I go there to drink. Huge difference." You plopped down onto a chair and faced your old teammate. "This isn't about the Avengers, Tony. So let's get it all out."

"Why are you leaving Phil? Every time we think you two are finally making headway, you two avoid each other like the plague." Tony took a seat on your bed across from you.

"I'm not leaving Phil. In case you hadn't noticed, he's heading back to his team, just like I am heading to mine. And honestly, I have no idea what's going on between us. Every time I think we've crossed a line, we seem to take two steps back. It doesn't help that I've only been able to eat, sleep, train, and prison watch. Jesus, I had more of a social life when I was an Avenger! I really want to figure this out but I haven't had two minutes to talk to the man since I got here."

"Well then we better fix that!" Before you could respond, Tony was up and out the door.

"I could live to be a thousand, and I'll never understand that man." You shake your head before continuing to clean up the room. It didn't take long as you hadn't brought much and soon you were pacing the room in an effort to put off saying goodbye to everyone. You muttered to yourself, "Better get this over with."

You pulled open your door only to jump in surprise at Coulson already standing on the other side. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you but you opened the door before I could knock."

"No, no, it's ok. I guess I should have anticipated people seeking me out before I left the compound." You stepped aside so he would have room to enter.

"I know things have been a little... awkward between us and I wanted to try to clear the air before either of us left." He walked to the middle of your room, but wouldn't turn to face you. You closed the door and walked over to him.

"Phil, it's ok. I get it. I'm the ex of the person who killed you. Who wouldn't second guess the situation?" You reached over to place a hand on his shoulder but he immediately whipped around and grabbed your wrist.

"I'm not second guessing you, I just worry I might not be enough for you."

"Enough for me? You're too good for me, Phil. You put others before yourself, even giving your life for SHIELD. Meanwhile, I'm 150 year old mutant and the former lover of a trickster god. How can I possibly be good enough for you?"

He roughly pulled you into his arms and crushed his lips to yours. You melt at his touch, your arms finding their way around his neck as you match his energy. When both of you finally came up for air, he rested his forehead against yours. "You've always been good enough for me. In fact, I want you to stay here. I want us to try to be together."

"I want us to try, also. But I can't leave my team. I'm finally finding a way to help my kind. It's ok, though. We can make this work. I'll come here to visit you and you can come to the school and finally see the difference between mutants and inhumans." You smirk at him.

He smirked back at you. "I do have a few hours before I need to leave and there's something I've wanted to do since I first saw you fifteen years ago."

"Say no more." You point a hand at the door and once you hear the lock click, you're entwined around Phil again. There was a roughness to him you’d only seen while out in the field with him and you loved it. He pushed you down onto the bed and crawled on top of you, only to be flipped over onto his back by your powers.

“You’re not going to use those the whole time, are you?”

You gave him a wicked grin as your hands moved over his chest but used your powers to slowly undress him. “You act like it’s a bad thing. Could give an interesting edge. But don’t worry, I won’t use them the whole time. Just enough. To tease.”

He gasp as you slowly stroke up his legs and around his crotch with your powers before you finished undressing him. He pinned you back down under him. “You keep that up and the few hours I have won’t be long enough.”

“Guess you’ll just have to be late, then.” You pulled him down for an intense kiss.

You both emerged from the room later that day, looking happier than either of you had in months. Walking into the main area of the compound, you smiled at the Avengers that were gathered there.

“Did it finally happen? Are you guys finally together?” Steve looked between the two of you.

Coulson chuckled and pulled you close to him. “Yeah, we’re finally together.”

Parker was bouncing in his seat. “So _____’s staying?!”

“No, Peter. I’m still an X-Men. But I promise to visit as often as I can.”

“You couldn’t convince her to stay?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “Must have done something wrong.”

You couldn’t keep the rueful look off your face. “No, he certainly did nothing wrong. But I won’t leave my new team. Mutants need all the help they can get.”

Tony proceeded to wolf whistle as Phil turned bright red at your words. He cleared his throat. “We figured it was for the best that ____ stay with her current team. But there will always be an opening here if she ever wishes to return.”

“No offense, but if I ever leave the X-Men, it’s to retire. And I hope you’ll be ready to do the same at that time.”

Phil smiled at you like you were the only person in the world. “I think my retirement may come first.”

You laughed at the realization. “You’re right, it will. But don’t worry, I’ll be ready to spend it with you.”

He kissed you gently as Peter covered his eyes. “Maybe I’ll take an early retirement.”

“Like you could ever leave SHIELD.”

“For you? I’d defy death itself again.”


End file.
